Love Letter to End All Love Letters

 

Dearest Darling Sleep (Also known as My Master),

 

Why do you insist upon making a visit to me during the day, behaving like an over-affectionate lover at the most inappropriate moment (such as meetings or conference calls) while at night you elude me like a cheating bastard trying not to be caught?  Could I get one night to fall asleep within the confines of your loving arms, curled into you, at a reasonable hour that isn't in the single digits?  May you please find it within your beloved heart and considerate nature to possibly allow me to close my eyes without wondering if they will stay closed?  Is this really too much to ask for?  At one time you loved me so very much yet now you have forsaken me.  I am only asking for one complete night of rest where I wake up in the morning feeling refreshed.  Surely that is not demanding all the gold in Midas' chest, is it? 

 

Oh my dearest, I know your secret adoration for me, although you keep yourself aloof.  But why?  What have I done?  Why have you scoffed me, turned your back thus?  Did you not know that I have loved you from the depths and breathes of my soul, wanted to be one with you since the beginning of time, wanted you and only you.  Have I not spoken these very words to you in the darkness of the night when I called out to you brokenly?  Yes, My Heart, you are my desire.

I know that you want to come to me, you yearn to be with me and once more consummate our relationship.  I know that you care for me so that in the mornings you do not wish to see me struggle like this, that it rips your heart asunder.  I implore you, come to me.  I confess, I want to be normal again.  I wish so much to bound out of bed with a hop to my step instead of half-falling, half-tumbling out, groggy, head blurry, tongue glued to the top of the inside of the mouth.  How about just one morning where the bones don't hurt and the energy isn't dangerously at empty even before doing a thing?  You love me too much to see this consistently, I know.  I know you.

 

I accept you're busy, Sleep, accommodating so many others but this little chicka is in dire need of some of you.  Maybe I'm being greedy, possibly demanding too much but since you seem to always be avoiding me or simply possibly overlooking one of your heartfelt lovers, I think it's time you paid me a visit (*wink wink nudge nudge*).  I assure you, I'll do just about anything to convince you to come over.  Please also note the sultry (sleepy) look within the limpid pools of my eyes as well as the softening of my fulsome lips (or more like slack-jawed from sheer exhaustion). 

 

I can't possibly try to seduce you in any more ways than this, I don't believe.  I suppose I could also bribe you with food or something of that nature but alas due to my over-tired body, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to manage fixing up something worthy of your kind self.  Most likely in this state of mind, I would simply burn my home to the ground into nothing but cinders.  I'm sure that's not conducive to our coming together so let's not see that happen.

 

Tonight, My Glorious Love, I will go home, slip into "something comfortable" (flannel pj's) and wait for you impatiently in the softness of my bed and under the goose-down comforter where we so often found solace in one another.

 

I look forward to tonight, My One True Jaana.

 

Sincerely,

Sleep Deprived Reverent Lover

 

P.S.  Please tell your brother Insomnia that he can go back to whatever depths of hell he came from because I no longer want anything at all to do with him.  WE are over and that I resent he ever tried to become apart of my life in the first place.