Day 30 brings both sadness and a sense of self.
I woke up super early and left to meet my dad at the airport. Like my mother, he's on his way to the far east (well okay not like that far east but more like southeast but let's not get into technicalities) for the next month. On my way, I called Ammu (mom) just to chat and ended up crying like a baby while sobbing out how much I missed her -_- Yes, it never matters how damn old a person is, they will always be their parents child. And I don't care who you are, if you have a good relationship with said parents, you will miss them even within the midst that is the chaos of your own life.
By the time I gave my dad a last hug 'see ya later' before heading to work, I was in tears once more. In order to lighten my heart a bit, I played this all the way back:
I sang along at the top of my lungs all the way into work and by the time I got here, although the residual ache will probably be in place till they BOTH get back, I felt a bit energized. Maybe that's because I've been up since 6:15am which is rare indeed for me but I see the benefits to waking up at such an ungodly hour. Not that this is going to become a regular habit (yish) but I see the benefits for sure.
Now full into the day which has proven to be busy, busy, busy. In fact everyone's walking around the halls at 80mph. The energy level is high and you can tell a new year has begun. It's balls to the walls all the way! In fact, I've been to my directors office about 4 times just to tell him about new cases, figuring out bandwidth, deadlines, workflows...blah blah blah...I'm getting pulled in a few directions but I've made some serious headway.
More importantly, I'm really starting to make headway in letting the recent sadness that had been plaguing me, go (as I had resolved) and making steps towards finding inner peace once again. Sounds like a load of horseshit, don't it? But it's not. I'm not afraid of writing out my feelings, obviously. I can't also take credit for the baby steps I've been making to heal myself. Thanks to a gaggle of dear, amazing ladies on the phone, in person, over latte's and some close guy friends, I have been able to realize my worth or at least learn to embrace it more.
Through the next few weeks/months/years I will remember but I think that with time I will forget to some degree and learn to laugh about the past. I've done it before, I'll do it again. The human spirit really is an amazing thing, isn't it? Then again I'm armed with the knowledge that I haven't done anything wrong. Right.
I'm also damn pleased with the traffic hitting this piddley little blog of mine. The fact that anyone feels any sort of compulsion to click on the link and read my dribble is totally awesome and flattering. I really can't say this enough. Every time I access Google Analytics, I'm do a happy dance.
Okay, well I've taken about 20 minutes of time to shove a slice of cold pizza down my gullet while banging this out. Let's see what I have to write about tomorrow.
Oh also, one thing before signing off. Today a friend of mine contacted me to rant on about how frustrated/pissed/angry/annoyed/fed up she is with her sibling. She has been trying to contact him desperately for help using all modes of communication known to man but he has withdrawn into some place (mentally) where no one can reach him. This is not unusual. I am well acquainted with this habit of his since I know him. I didn't have any words of comfort other than telling her not to cut him the hell out of her life. I also wanted to tell her to go find him, slap him real hard up across the head and leave but that's just me...
She's pretty adamant that she's done with him, she's over his nonsense, selfishness, insensitivity, egotistical, 'It's all about me' behavior and no matter how much she loves him, she's not going to be cast aside like so much garbage whenever he needs to retreat, is busy with other things or whatever. I gots to say, I don't blame her. In fact, good for her for putting her foot down. I need to learn some lessons from this chick.
I'm telling you folks, human kind disappoints me on a daily basis while once in a while it impresses and this sort of behavior specifically confounds. How can one...well never mind, I won't even start down that road again. I'm just going to shake my head, finish up this blog, go back to work and say a prayer to God that this relationship can somehow be salvaged/repaired because frankly knowing her? HE (her brother) is in for a world of pain and hurt because she's not playing. If she cuts him off, blood or no, he's done.
*smh*
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