Panera, Halos and Stupidity

I had a bagel.

 

You're wondering why I'm sharing this with you, right?  Like, "what the hell is the relevance of that statement to me? "  And is this becoming a Twatter kinda blog?  No, it's not.  But I did have a bagel from Panera which a client dropped off to the company as a 'thank you' for something or another.  I don't care why, all I know was that it was freeeeeeeeee!

 

I walked into the kitchen and there they were and it was like the greatest moment of my life.  I may be exaggerating a wee bit here but in the past few days I haven't found anything to really celebrate so let me have this. 

 

Here's what it looks like, don't be jealous:

 

That's what the bagel looked like but that's NOT the bagel I ate nor the Splenda to accompany the Iced Tea.  I ate the thing too fast and therefore snapping a picture wasn't an option.  I also think Splenda is abhorrent.

 

Even as you gaze at the loveliness of this particular goodie, and other than cursing me in case you're hungry, you may still be wondering why I'm blogging about this.  Well why not?  I mean I've written some fairly serious pieces in the past, why not a total fluff piece this go around?

 

But let me ask you, have you ever had this happen:  you forget to eat?

 

I was telling my boss, who was sitting in the break room with me while he pondered a (free) bagel, that sometimes I simply forget to eat.  He looked at me slightly confounded and said, "my body tells me precisely when it's time, and I can't ignore it".  Yea, seems like most people have the same body sirens.  I wonder where mine was when God was handing out this specific skill?  Probably busy blogging about something else I don't have.  (I can be such a drag at times, can't I?)

  

And it's sort of bad for me.  Like a few days ago, I woke up and felt light-headed.  I nearly toppled over and my hands were shaking badly.  I scrambled to drink a glass of water but the dizziness persisted.  I made my way downstairs and pulled out some grapes and devoured them, grimacing slightly.  Grapes that early in the morning doesn't do it for me in the least.  Anyhow, I became a little less shaky (not by much), went upstairs to start the morning routine.  It was while I was brushing my teeth that I realized that I had gone all day yesterday consuming nothing more than green tea.  That's it.  The whole caloric intake for a whole day was green tea which contained no sugar. 

 

Being one who has observed the fast during the month of Ramadan, withholding sustenance from my body isn't a new thing however, there's a lot of mental prep that goes into it.  In this instance, I just plain ol' forgot to eat.  Why I do this, I don't know.  How I manage to pull it off is also a bit of a mystery and my body doesn't appreciate it at all.  What I realize is that I'm very good at ignoring signals that are being sent my way (total life story in all aspects). 

  

The bagel today was consumed at approximately 11:15am-ish.  Completely off whack timing.  I followed that up with a (singular) Halo:

And managed to half finish the coffee I would otherwise probably throw away.  Why?  Because I know my stupid body and it won't be hungry until later tonight which means this is all the food I'll consume for whole day.  *Sigh*  Even as I type this all out, I feel the desire to eat anything, anytime soon ebbing away. 

 

I so have to go back to my old habits of eating every 2 hours, even a small healthy snack, having 3 meals a day and working out.  No, this is not a resolution of any sort so don't get excited.

 

This was day 13.  And I assure you, the struggle is still very real.