Jeez, it takes me forever to
write a post nowadays. I blame it solely
on unexpected interruptions, totally ignoring the part where it could be attributed to my own
laziness as well. But it’s 2015, day 5
and I’m still around. Hallelujah. (There were moments which were touch and go but I powered through.)
Of course with the New Year I’ve
identified a new problem. Not really ‘new’
sort of an old problem that’s come back to plague me with a vengeance. What is it, you may be wondering? Insomnia.
Anyone who suffers from it can
sympathize, those who can’t, you can just keep your ‘help you go to sleep
easily’ remedies to yourself because trust when I say I’ve tried them all. So I’ve given into it fully, embracing the
fact that sleep and I are just not friends.
What galls me the worse is that even if we are not on good terms, it
seems to LOVE me in the mornings. That’s
when I struggle the hardest and the rest of the day drags by in one big messy
fuzzy flurry. Bleh.
Today is far worse than other
days, although how I can say that with any seriousness is ridiculous since I’ve
probably suffered worse in the past.
Possibly because I’m writing this now is why it feels so gosh darn
bad. My head is fuzzy, my thinking has slowed down vastly and reaction time is seriously handicapped. I've had fantasies of closing the office door and crawling under the desk for a nice long snooze...sort of like the picture above...unfortunately my pesky colleagues expect me to do things, like work and earn my paycheck. Insane. And there’s a pile of crap to do on my desk that has been delayed due to the holidays.
Now it’s all here, smiling at me maliciously, waiting for me to fail. Seriously? I need sleep. I'm imagining a devilish notebook with teeth bared at me. What's wrong with this picture? Next I'll see unicorns ice skating out in the rink. If I write about that? Have me committed.
All this lack of sleep has done a number to me (obviously) but the worse fall out has been a fairly negative attitude and a stupidly short fuse. Considering this isn't unusual for me to begin with, imagine how I am when I'm really, really grumpy. So not pretty. I sort of go off at anyone/anything if provoked or if anyone shows me attitude...well it's all over. I never said I was perfect, now did I? Anyhow, a good example of my crappy attitude is this:
today a friend texted me
something fairly innocuous earlier in the morning and my response was to bite his head clear
off. Awesome. And he apologized to me for my bad behavior
because he thought he had said something wrong.
He hadn’t. I swear sometimes I’m
just a plain ol’ lunatic and I can’t even blame PMS. Thank goodness for at least one ounce of reasonableness
of mind because I tried to apologize in return but even that came off as
sounding bitchy. *Sigh*
To him, if you’re reading this: Sorry
buddy, don’t cut me off your Christmas list, I’ll make it up to you.
It’s really been a stellar day and
when I say that I mean super sucky. However,
I plan to beat this. That doesn’t mean I’m
going to go home, crawl into bed and snooze till tomorrow morning, that isn’t
even an option because today is my daddy’s birthday!
Yup, he’s turned 71. Dang.
And you know what? He sure as heck doesn’t look it. My father is the perfect example of how age
means nothing whatsoever either in mind or matter. He’s young of
spirit, intelligence and if not body, at least energy.
When I’m with him I’m the one who feels 71 while he acts like he’s
17. His boundless enthusiasm is
exhausting at times, exhilarating at others and his love for all things
electronic is super amusing.
How bad is this particular
passion? Bad.
Regardless of whether I’m
chilling with him at the homestead or we’re in music class, I’m always braced
for him to say any one of the following things:
Beta, see the new app I have? Do
you have it? No, because I’m more
advanced than you! (Which is 100% correct;
the man is more ‘with it’ than I could ever hope to be.)
Beta, how do you [insert specifics here]?
Beta, I’m going to get [insert more specifics of handy dandy new bling
on the market here]!
Yea, my dad is big into the
e-world of nearly everything. I remember
the days of file cabinets, envelops and him sitting on the ground with his
paperwork spread out once a week to pay bills. He still has his
ledgers but now the tablets, phones, and other fancy do-dads take up more space
than anything else. He’s into anything
that’s easy and computerized. He’s so
far ahead of the game that I can’t even think about keeping up; he’s a speck in
the distance and I’m slogging along behind him.
Did I mention that I’ve never
even owned a tablet of any sort? Well I
did, a cheapo one that my dad won at a casino ages ago (he already had an iPad) but I think it was made
out of recyclable rubber and had like, one game in it along with one single pixel although there may have
been a few apps available to download but I could never quite get it to work
right. When I first got the thing I stared at
it for a whole day pressing the screen wondering what the heck it was supposed
to do and then settled on playing Candy Crush.
If that was about the extent of usefulness in anything, I wasn’t interested and seeing as how I
had/have an iPhone that does everything short of cooking and going to the
bathroom for me, I’m good. And I just have no interest in upgrading that either. I can assure you in many ways I may look high maintenance but at the end of the day, I'm fairly undemanding.
Anyhow, I get to go and spend the
evening with my parents. I’m
anticipating this and to be honest although I would love to go to sleep, I’m
banking on the fact that by the time I get home, I’ll be so exhausted and spent
that I’ll fall into bed and pass the hell out.
I doubt it.
Rather the chances are for me to fall asleep in the car, get home, be wide awake and end up playing The Simpsons: Tapped Out till about 3 am. And so the cycle begins again. I already feel bad for my next victim. This way I'll end up alienating all my friends by the time day 30 of the new year hits.
Yesterday, btw, ended up being a very nice indeed. The 4th day of the year was spent
in wandering around the mall with my cousin (best friend, confidant, sanity, partner in crime)
and then she came back to my spot and I made dinner. I love feeding this girl because although she's about a minute big, she's got this amazing appetite and enthusiasm for food in general. Where she puts it all is beyond me but hey, I don't care. I'm like my mother, I like to feed people. So after stuffing our faces we curled up onto the sofa
listening to the wind howl outside while watching Twilight:
New Moon. She peppered me with questions about the specifics of the
movie, clearly lacking any knowledge as to the story line. I can’t quite imagine a soul left
on earth who doesn’t know the the struggle of Bella, the constipated angst of Edward, or Jacobs delicious muscliciousness (yes, that's a word now) but I don’t judge
(not much) however, I did gaze at her in shock for several seconds. I’m happy to report, she’s Team Jacob
also! We were so meant to be.
Perchance, have you noted that I’m
trying my best to blog more often? Are
you impressed? Please be because this is
taking effort.
Alright, I’m off to bug one of my
colleagues and count down the minutes before leaving.
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