Ughhh, what a wretched night! I barely slept a wink and when I say that,
that’s precisely what I mean. I went to bed at about 2, intending to say my
intentions and getting some well-deserved shut eye. What happened instead was a long, long night
staring at the ceiling, then at the drapes, then at the mattress, then at the
bathroom door, then again at the ceiling.
Yes, when insomnia hits me this hard, I try to find a position that will
help knock me out. Short of a bat to the
head, it ain’t happenin’. I don’t know
why I even bother.
Yea, a miserable night of nothing
but tossing and turning and cursing the fates finally did me in and I believe
the last time I saw on my clock was 5am.
The fact that the alarm was screaming for me to wake my butt up by 7am
didn’t put me in the greatest frame of mind.
The only redeemable factor?
Traffic was light all the way in.
Better yet, I did not come across anyone carrying a cup of coffee that
could possibly tempt me from stealing it and running away. I’m pretty sure Ramadan doesn’t encourage theft.
Work has been fine. I’ve made a concentrated effort to keep my
head down and focus on getting done as much as possible before leaving. It helps the time go by faster. That’s a lie.
NOTHING helps the time go by. For
this month, I usually come in a smidge early, ‘work’ through lunch and go home
by 5pm. Seems like a great plan, right? No, it blows chunks.
Depending on the traffic if I
leave at that time, I can get home anywhere between 5:30 to 6 and then I have
anywhere between 2.5 to 3 hours before
Iftar. I supposed it’s not that long in
the grand scheme of things but tell that to the dizzy spells that will do me
over but good when I get up too fast from any sitting position. No amount of praying and Ibadah really makes
the time go quicker so you’re stuck waiting patiently, maybe watching a movie
or something. The funny thing is, no
matter how exhausted I am and no matter how I’ve dreamt all day of crawling
into bed to take a catnap, it never ever happens. Inevitably I’m watching some stupid show that
isn’t really interesting but napping seems far too indulgent to me. I’m not a napper.
Many hours later…
Well, I proved myself to be a
liar. I got home and passed the hell
out. It was fitful and by the time I
woke up, I was shaking like a leaf. This
happens to me a lot. After breaking fast
and drinking some sharbat (juice) I decided to zone on the sofa while figuring
out what lesson I learned/wanted to learn.
I didn’t think there was one, after all thinking itself becomes difficult,
but it came to me on FB, the lesson, not the thinking but then again, possibly
the thinking also.
I was scrolling listlessly
through posts, unable to actually muster up the strength to write anything deep
and meaningful of my own volition. And
there it was. A friend of mine who had
posted a picture of her knocked out sleeping daughter. Under the picture was the following caption:
At least we know my child will get food.
Unfortunately can't say that about thousands of children over the world. All
praise and thanks to Allah for everything we have. BTW...she is fasting by her
own choice. No forcing going on up in this joint.. she looks forward to waking
up and eating with us and observing this month. Maybe I'm doing something right
or blessed. Combo of both?
This is comment overload at its
best!
First, let’s tackle the whole ‘hunger’
issue. Once again it takes these quiet
moments for most of us to realize how lucky we are, and how blessed. These realizations don’t come with a big bang
and whomp but more a small little sigh.
I love these rare moments when I can acknowledge God’s gifts. Some never quite do though, I’ve noticed,
insisting upon moving through life in endless bitterness focusing on what they
do not have. These people radiate negativity in all
senses. Mind you I can be terribly
negative myself but it’s different. More
or less my pessimism is centered on how stupid I think humans can be.
My friend here though, who wrote
the post above who I call “H”, I admire because clearly she ‘gets’ it. She is able to see the bigger picture here
and in fact embodies (to me) what Ramadan is trying to teach us (one of several
in fact but let’s focus on this alone).
What’s that lesson? Well: hunger.
Sounds simple, right? What we’re
asked to do by Allah (swt) during this month is to endure what others less
privileged than ourselves deal with on a daily basis, gut wrenching, stomach
grumbling, limb weakening hunger that will not go away no matter how you wish
otherwise, no matter what time of the day it is. I know I sound extreme but it is. And I personally believe that the end product
is the ability to thank the Almighty for what we have been given and basically
not take anything for granted.
The truth is that at the end of our
fast we can sit around a big table with loved ones and eat whatever we wish in
air conditioning while the hungry will still remain…hungry. Get it?
See the point? It’s all about
learning empathy, compassion, understanding your fellow man’s strife’s. You can’t do that by watching a commercial on
the television with sad pictures of starving kids and sappy music playing in
the background (sorry Sarah McLachlan) because as soon as the show you want to
watch is back on, you forget. We humans
are fantastically adept at totally taking for granted our blessings. We (those of us who are able) ignore how
ginormous it is that we have the ability to be able to grab that bag of chips out
of the stocked pantry or that cake we pick up at that amazing bakery down the
street which costs an arm and a leg but is so super delicious that you can’t
live without it. We are by nature
ungrateful. If it takes Ramadan to bring
to light the reality of starvation to the foreground, then so be it. Well done.
Oh and don’t fool yourself for a
minute in thinking that once we break our fast we ignore the poor and
hungry. Nope. We are required to give Zakat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zakat)
every one of us who are financially able.
This isn’t a donation to the local mosque, the Imam or purchasing more
prayer mats. No, it’s straight up
charity to the poor. And what happens if
you miss a fast because you have no other recourse? Well you can either make up that fast later
or…go ahead and donate more…feed one person for a whole day. So you see one of the biggest foundations of
Islam is in fact charity.
So moving on, Second (sorry it
took me so long to get to this point), H mentions that her children have been
given the option to fast. As she so
eloquently states,“No forcing going on up in this joint”. You don’t know how much I adore this one
singular line. It speaks well of the new
generation of Muslim parents. These are
individuals who (again this is my belief and doesn’t have to reflect anyone else’s)
have very much embraced the Deen, also spelled Din (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C4%ABn),
are educated and wish to pass it along to the next generation of sophisticated
Muslims.
I have long ago accepted that the
generation prior to mine, and the one even before that, was taught with fear
being the basic text book. To them
everything about the practice of Islam was difficult. Suffering seemed to be the main theme. If you didn’t break your back or sacrifice,
then you weren’t doing it right and in turn, God wasn’t listening.
But as I grew up, became more educated, as
scholars emerged from schools that taught and studied intensely ONLY Islam, and
as the internet started to take hold on being the hub of an outside source of learning,
we were now being told that our religion, in fact, isn’t all that
difficult. Relax. Allah (swt) has built in so many “chill out”
rules throughout the Quran that it’s almost impossible not to practice. You can practically fall into it with a bit
of discipline and straightening of priorities.
Here’s what I think: If you fail to represent your religion as one
that seamlessly fits into life, then the next generation will not be able to
embrace it. Maybe if you are living in a
predominantly Muslim country this isn’t difficult, it’s a part of your every
day, but for those of us who step out of the house and are greeted by hundreds
of different skin colors, religions, ideologies, sexual orientations and
cultures, guess what? It’s not
easy. And yes, we are a part of our
environment/society, like it or not. You
can’t expect a child who grows up in one country not assimilate simply because their
parents did not or will not.
H (and her husband) clearly must
be doing something right if their child is getting up by her own will before
daylight to sit with her family to eat the meal as well as go through a day
where normally, being a young kid of a very tender age, she would probably be
running around enjoying her summer vacation, eating ice cream, drinking
lemonade or having picnics outside in the sun.
Instead this child looks forward to the time she has with her parents
and siblings and even passes out on the sofa when she is too tired while still
murmuring dua’s under her breath. How
amazing is that? Bravo, truly bravo. Whether you (H and your hubby) understand this
so or not, you are on the right path. I’m
not an expert in anything, heck I’m not even a parent, just a third party very
far removed observer but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate what is in front
of me and commend you.
For the record, my friend H is
but one example of the cool new age families I’ve been spotting (stalking) on
FB (and no, not in a weird way, sheesh). These are young families in their late
20’s early 30’s and yes some even in their 40’s who I’ve known since they were
but children themselves. They are the
parents now. And how freakin’ fantastic
are they! These are the same parents who
post pics of their kids on the prayer mat, but also with them sporting cool Halloween
costumes. These parents are seen with
their kids at the mosque as well as on a beach in Hawaii or in Europe
somewhere. These parents will purchase
gowns for their children (very appropriate but pretty ones) and encourage them
to go to school functions while still instilling within their offspring the
beauty of their religion. These are
parents who write about how proud they are of their child as well as how
frustrating parenthood can be. These
families, to me, represent the true hip contemporary Muslim family. And good lord, it’s refreshing.
Lastly, H says that maybe she’s
doing something right or blessed? I don’t
know about anyone else and since indeed I am no professional, I can’t speak to
that but I do agree, it’s both. I
reached out to her to ask her permission to use her post as inspiration for my
blog. I am very careful with making sure
that I do not offend or step on anyone’s toes when taking something from
someone else to write about, so this was important. In the breadth of our conversation and sort
of catching up, she told me that she’s ‘only trying to do her best’. I did not feel for an instant that she was
being falsely humble. This woman is straight
up humble, particularly when it comes to her parenting. Clearly she feels like there’s room for
improvement and it’s ongoing, this bringing up her daughters the right
way. I loved that she told me that she’s
still terribly inappropriate. I love
this because her children will grow up knowing that it’s okay to be human.
So, to end this blog (yay?), did
I learn anything? I don’t know if I was
supposed to. Sometimes it’s just about
writing down what I see, what I hear, what I read. It’s to take all that, process it and spit it
back out. Sometimes it is a way of simply
giving a quiet nod to someone (people) who deserves it. Indeed my words may be meaningless, all these
opinions I have, all the yammering I do, it probably doesn’t even add up to a
hill of beans. But…well…it doesn’t
always have to be, right? (Was that not the most horrible ending to a blog, or
what?)
Anyhow, have a good one folks, no
matter what you’re doing or where in the world you are.
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