“Do you know these kinder surprise
eggs? You know, with the toy to build on
in the inside and the chocolate shell on the outside? That’s what it’s like for me when I see that
you wrote a new blog”
I responded: “Really????
Wow. That’s pretty huge, can’t beat
those Easter eggs.”
She wrote back: “Yea, at first it’s
like you get that egg and you think: wow
a treat! I wonder what’s in it. Then
when I start reading the first lines, it’s when you have the pieces of the toy
in front of you and try to figure out what it’s gonna be: where is she going
with this? And when you read it, it’s
like playing with the toy and eating the chocolate together.”
Instant warm and fuzzies, Folks,
and I love hearing back from those who read my writing even though I’m always a
bit taken aback. Regardless of whether
it’s positive or negative, the fact is that someone somewhere stopped what they
were doing, instead stopping to write down some sort of comment about my
nonsense. Now I could be the type who puts
something out therem okay with never knowing what others think of it but when I
receive feedback, it pleases me to no end, because I use this as a growth opportunity. My writing can improve, by leaps and bounds,
and unless I hear what is good or bad about it, how am I to progress?
Anyhow, I needed a moment to
preen, so…*preens*
Now, let’s see, what is the topic
of the day? The topic is work/life
balance.
How is this connected to
Ramadan? It’s not. Look folks, I made a promise that I would
attempt to learn something every day of this month. Well the operative word was ‘attempt’. It doesn’t always work. Today, on that particular matter…
Instead I’m just going to go
ahead and tell you something I’ve observed at work that could possibly end up
being a lesson learned but I’m not sure.
I’ll have to wait till the end of this blog to see what happens. You think it’s ridiculous that I don’t know
already? Well the way I write my blogs
isn’t something that’s mapped out, or even outlined. I have no clear idea what I’m about to say
before I say it or the direction things take.
Much like my friend above, I too am surprised. If it works out great, sometimes it’s just an
epic fail.
Anyhoo…I came into a crazy place
yesterday. Between clients being in the
house, phone training (we received new sets and apparently none of us are smart
enough to figure them out hence we were scheduled for 45 minute trainings
although I’m ashamed to admit it was actually useful so I should zip it), and
meetings up the yingyang, people were busy.
I didn’t mention the general absurdity of cases, because that’s a
given.
The minute I stepped into the
suite, I noted how tense everyone seemed.
People barely said hi, and this phenomenon in a company that generally
is full of energized individuals who have twisted senses of humor, is pretty
darn strange. This has happened before,
when the atmosphere was so charged that it’s best to keep one’s head down and
plug away at whatever you can, or to jump into the fray and lend a helping
hand. I’ve done both depending upon my
mood. In my office? Closed doors are not acceptable either. I’ve tried it, it doesn’t work. The door gets banged upon until such time as
I throw it open and glare, scowl or threaten with bodily harm (and this is
accepted also).
Hustling down the hall, head
lowered, I almost get there when I run into one of my colleagues. She is so not in a good mood. In fact she’s downright hostile. I mean not towards me but generally
speaking. Her face is closed off, not
even a hint of a smile and her brows are crunched. I do a mental “uh oh” and sigh. For the rest of the day till she leaves, that
is how it is.
Now this person is very, very
close to me. In fact one of my closest
at work but regardless sometimes you need to step back and give space, which is
what I did. I’ve mentioned to her
before, when the weight of her job clearly wasn’t bearing down upon her shoulders
making her crabby, that she tends to wear her stress on her sleeves. She didn’t believe me, denied it effusively
but I never try to bring up a subject that I don’t have slight knowledge in and
more importantly evidence. My friends
who know me on a more personal level can tell you how true this is and how
annoying it can be.
After hearing enough of my ‘proof’,
she finally relented and agreed but this fact didn’t bring her any
comfort. She knew that she was doing
herself no favors by being as stressed out as she was, particularly when about
2 weeks back I took her to the possible for a heart attack. By the time I got home, exhausted from a very
long day at work, I wasn’t in the mood to think but let’s all agree that my
brain never really stops either. Even
when I’m sleeping all my thoughts simply turns into dreams. This is probably why I don’t sleep either,
not till I’m so exhausted that I pass the heck out.
My sofa is where I do a lot of
contemplating of weighty thoughts. Some
say it’s while they’re taking a shower, or running, or going for a walk…for me
it’s when I’m parked on the sofa trying to do my best imitation of a bump on a
log. Not particularly efficient
really.
Moving along, I started to think
about my friend, particularly about how she allowed work to so overwhelm her
that it even bled into her evening (I found this out the next day when she
explained what a rough night it had been).
I was bummed for her, knowing exactly how that felt, and slightly
disgusted (not at her but generally speaking).
Then I realized I had no room to talk since I’ve done this too on
countless infinite occasions.
Oh yes indeedy, I’ve taken ‘work’
home with me, in fact not just home but to restaurants, parties, trips,
vacations…shoot, my work has seen more good times than me. BTW, I don’t mean the physical work itself,
but the relentless thought of it, I’ve even dreamed about it (once I went a
whole night dreaming about charts…urghhhhhh).
As modern day worker bees, we are far too immersed in our professional
life to the point where it infiltrated our existence. We take the problems of the office back to
our sanctuaries (at least that’s what home is supposed to be, right?),
inevitably carrying it like a burden. Here’s
a thought that may just blow your mind: What
carries burdens? Beast of burdens. What typically is classified as beast of
burdens? Asses (as in the biblical
terminology, donkeys). So what does that
make us? Asses. The logic is irrefutable. We are asses when it comes to our jobs, plain
and simple.
And you know what? This is bullcrap (I wanted to use another
word but it would be wrong, it’s Ramadan after all)!!! I say we stop this particular brand of lunacy
right here, right now! Why can’t we just
leave at work the troubles of work and go back to our family or life to catch a
break? Aren’t we at work long enough as
it is? Aren’t we slaving away without
being totally indentured? And worse of
all, if you think about it, we spend more hours of our lifetime at work than at
home. How sick is that? And when we finally manage to slug our butt’s
home, who the heck said it was okay to burden those who are not connected with
work, with work?
No!! I’m sick of this personally. I vehemently protest!
Why is it completely acceptable
to forgo our own personal existences to jump onto a conference call, to send an
email, to respond to a request while saying to our non-work companions, ‘just a
minute’ and stepping away? Why do we
monitor our phones or blackberries maniacally?
Why do we, for the love of God, constantly miss the most important
events of our lives simply because we have to deal with work?
And worse of all? These actions are totally accepted but not
only that, it’s admired.
“Oh you’re so dedicated; wow you work so hard, you’re so professional,
I admire your tenacity…”
Blah, blah, blah, and it’s
endless. To me it almost seems as if it’s
okay if you have a heart attack or physical ills that eventually sends you to
an early grave due to work (we don’t want to admit this but it’s true
regardless), than say heart disease or natural causes because well you were
probably being lazy anyhow, right? If
you work yourself to death, you are the shiz, that’s awesome and people almost
admire you for it, pat you on the back.
And oh yea, let’s not forget how we also try to outdo each other with
work as well. We try to work longer
hours than our counterparts just for bragging rights [insert eye roll here].
Um yea…so screwed up.
Oh wow, okay this turned into a rant;
I didn’t even expect the topic to veer off into this funky direction. But I do have a point, right? It’s really time to step back and take
stock. The world around us is so
different than the one of our parents’ generation. They worked hard, yes, but family always came
first which in turn was why they worked hard.
This makes sense. Now it seems
like even our families have come to accept they come second to a job. We no longer work to live, we live to work, and
that’s a fact. Our ‘careers’ have become
front and center of everything we do, like the sun and we are the earth,
circling around it looking for light and sustenance. The success of family matters less than the
success of work. May be that’s why
things seem so messed up, why the world is so epically screwed?
When our mindset is all about us,
when we are so self-absorbed and dying for fame that we ignore everything else,
then why should this fact be so surprising?
I’m sad to observe that at least to me it’s as if this particular
mindset is more prevalent in Umrica then anywhere else in the universe. The rest of the world seems to be able to
handle the work to life balance, but not us stupid, hyper overachievers. Why couldn’t my parents have moved to
Europe? Somewhere there are long lazy
afternoons full of siestas and tapas?
Drat.
Can I say that I am not guilty of
all that I wrote above? No, I really can’t. I too ended up pushing myself, ignoring my
family and friends to choose recognition in a profession that eventually put me
in the hospital on January 1 of 2009 with what I thought was heart attack. Turned out it was a panic attack coupled with
acid reflux. The outcome was clearly not
as ‘sexy’ (if that’s what one can call it) as the heart attack theory but there
was a lesson learned. The emergency room
doctor suggested I go to see my primary physician and a therapist. I thought this suggestion was bizarre so I
scraped the idea of the counsellor and instead went to my doctor who, also a
desi, sat me down and talked to me for an hour about getting my priorities
straight because next time it could certainly be the real thing the next
time. I was put on mental alert. I panicked.
Have I improved my habits since
then? Hell no. I still live in a country and surrounded by
others who appreciate a hard worker over a person who balances both work and
life and when we meet one of these rare individuals, we almost judge them
negatively, as if they don’t have any ‘work ethics’.
All bunk.
Anyhow, this blog seemed all over
the map to me. I’m almost relieved it’s
over. Oh, recently someone said to me
that my blogs are too long. Should I
write shorter ones? I’ll have to take
this under serious consideration.
Okay guys, almost the
weekend. SWEET! Oh wait, never mind, it's Wednesday :\
Happy Ramadan-ing! : )
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