I could sum up this day in one word: exhausting.
Once again hunger and thirst
seemed to be at bay but had I any energy level, like those you see on a video
games next to me, it would be in the red and all the way at the bottom.
Granted I shouldn’t really
complain since Allah (swt) has blessed me (Alhamdulillah) with a job where I
stay indoors as well as in perpetual air conditioning so I haven’t had to deal
with the oppressive heat. There’s
that. However one doesn’t truly realize
the importance of food for proper brain functionality until one need to use one’s
noggin. Today, I needed brain power, for
sure.
As luck would have it (note
that there’s a lot of sarcasm in the word “luck”), for the last few weeks one
of my cases have blown up. Think nuclear
explosion big. Now because I like the
folks I’m working with at the law firm (which is rare indeed) I don’t mind the
midnight requests for this or that, or the questions that have been aimed at me
at all times of the day and night, weekends included, nor even the impromptu phone
calls being made on my personal cell phone (really…seriously…no I don’t mind…not
really). I’ve taken it all in
stride. But since last Friday, when I thought
things were going to wind down a bit, I realized how foolish I was.
What’s beyond a nuclear explosion? I’m not sure but that’s what happened. May be multiple explosions? Nonetheless, super star colleagues from all
departments jumped into the fray to help but all these prior weeks were
obviously leading up to yesterday, a super peachy ‘thpethal’ one. Between fielding internal and external calls,
jumping onto conference calls with the client, receiving and responding to
emails that required research (and answers), meetings after endless meetings,
readjusting work flows and more meetings (there may have been a carrier pigeon
involved as well, I can’t quite remember since it’s such a blur) my brain was
on overload. Plus I was sleep
deprived. And then I was fasting. And…well I’m sure there are a few more “and’s”
but I’m far too humble to type them out because now I’m just looking all ‘woe
is me’.
If there was any day in
which I could have used fuel for the brain, it was this day. This day in which my brain was beating me
with a club demanding to be fed and I steadily ignored it. Then about 1pm, as I sat in a strategic
meeting with my boss and 2 other colleagues, I was asked a question to which I
responded with a few empty blinks of eyelids.
My boss, who had been talking to me, stopped and gave me a quirk of his
eyebrow. I looked back, my eyes
glassy. And this prompted him to say “um
yea, you okay?”
I wanted to snap back, “obviously
not” but since I genuinely like him and had no interest in being rude (see, I’m
learning patience) I instead literally dropped my head into my folded arms on
the table and shook my noddle (subsequently going woozy from that action alone). Then I looked up from that position and the
voice that came out of me was breathless and whiny (ugh, so whiny, how he didn’t
fire me on the spot is a mystery)…”Kevinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn….I wanna go
homeeeeeeee….”
Now, this is just how cool
my boss is and precisely why I j’adore him.
He sighs heavy, gives me a straight forward non-judgmental look, shrugs
his shoulder and said ‘go home, whenever you want, you’re a professional.’
I would have whooped with
joy had I energy to do so but since I didn’t I mustered up a weak smile and nodded
my head (carefully). I still didn’t end
up leaving until nearly 5. Meh.
Anyhow, so one of the biggest
pitfalls of fasting? Going to the
grocery store. Seems so simple,
right? You would be wrong. Long ago I learned that this was a bad idea
when I was still single and living at home.
My mother and I would go to the Giant
and end up coming home with the most ridiculous items such as Stove Top Stuffing
mix, instant make-it-at-home pizza kits and a plethora of desserts out of the
yingyang. Whatever either of us wanted,
we would buy. Conversely right after breaking fast we would stare at the random
foods wondering not only what the heck
it was that we thought we were doing (at that time it was all quite brilliant
purchases) but when we figured we would consume said crap and then promised
that we would never go to the grocery store hungry again. Well that’s not an undertaking one can easily
keep over the course of a month, fasting or no fasting, unless you’re hoarders.
With every intention of
picking up some grocery from the local Bangladeshi store (yea, I decided on
this with a whole heaping load of trepidation), I aimed my headache-free car in
that direction and somehow found myself, instead, at the Bangladeshi restaurant
adjacent to it. Let’s not talk about
what I purchased. It’s embarrassing but
I did eat well. For me, that’s a big
deal, particularly during Ramadan when after the first sip of water and
euphoric bite of a date, I lose my appetite straightaway.
You’re thinking, what’s the
lesson I learned today? There isn’t one
to be honest. I mean I can’t re-promise
that I won’t grocery shop during the month, I will, I guarantee it and to be
honest being less of a glutton isn’t really a legit promise either, since no
one could say I am one (although you wouldn’t think so by simply looking at me…moo). But hey, I did display some sense of serenity
throughout an extremely hectic trying day while internally I was
screaming.
Hopefully I’ll have a lesson
to find tomorrow.
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