I can't help it, it's instinctive. I must write a weather related blog every few entries. I've resisted, tried to think of far wittier interesting topics but alas I guess I'm not half as creative as I thought myself to be. Oh well the little lessons we learn every day.
For my blog readers not on FB, let me fill you in: I'm sick. Again. For the 3rd time this year. Keeping in mind that it is only 2.5 months into 2014, that's an astounding number of times to be out of commission. Oh yes, and each time it's hit me straight upside the head. I mean I'm flat on my back hacking, coughing, shivering, running ridiculous temps and generally feeling like death. This ain't stuff for the faint hearted, I can assure you of that. The last time I ended up at the urgent care facility scared crapless cause I assumed I had (once again) managed to get strep throat. It wasn't that though just bronchitis and some sort of infection of the throat. Awesomosity personified. I know you're jealous you're NOT me. Mhmmm.
*Breathes out sarcasm*
A few friends, including family, have asked me what I've been doing to myself to cause such illness to revisit my person over and over again and I have to point out the obvious. IT'S THE FLIPPIN' WEATHER!!! IT IS NOT ME IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM!!!! Okay, I don't precisely say it that way, but I want to. My brain is screaming it. But why would this reason not be assumed straight off the bat? Everyone, and I mean at least everyone I know, have come down with some sort of flu/infection/pestilence in the last few months and much like me they've been felled by it on several occasions.
Once again, I ask you all, is the weather where you are half as bipolar and stupid as that of this area? Good grief Charlie Brown, we can not for the life of us figure out what the hell to wear on a day-to-day basis anymore. There is absolutely NO continuity in what Mother Nature is doing. It seems like winter just doesn't want to vamoose no matter how we humans are ready for it to make an exit. It clings on with ferocious single-minded determination. Not cool.
And I think desperation is slightly sinking in around these parts. A few days ago, as I went to the store to pick up some veggies that would eventually be made into soup (that's a whole different saga that I will write about later) I spotted a guy who was leaving the grocery store wearing shorts. I had to do a double take. Mind you it was not warm enough for the Bermuda shorts he was sporting to make an appearance, not by a long shot. Most everyone else was wearing some sort of coat and long pants. Cleary this dude was doing a mental 'screw you' to nature as he walked by and our eyes met. I couldn't help but lift an eyebrow (actually it was both brows since I can't quirk an eyebrow to save my life) at him and he just shrugged and ambled off. Heck, I wasn't mad at him. He probably thought that he could will the weather to change. Bless his heart, the lil Chipmunk.
But alas no amount of prayers have come to fruition (actually I do wonder if mosques, churches, synagogues, temples, creepy cult folks holed up in basements, etc...have tried that yet, like really pray...). Or if it has, it's been but a brief glimpse into what Spring is supposed to feel like. Who knew that Mother Nature was such a tease? The fact that one day the wind chill factor is below 0 and the next it's 65F...what is that?? Isn't there a law against this sort of nonsense? How can a body not succumb to all sorts of disease when simply going outside either becomes a striptease or committing oneself to a convent sort of act? This is like putting a banquet in front of a hefty person and saying, you can't have none. Or telling a 'puter nerd not to fix a broke down laptop that stares them in the face. Or even refusing to let a skinny skanky from wearing bootay shorts...just wrong.
Yes, my health is poor. I own up to it and no it's not because I've been running around thumbing my nose to nature. In fact every morning I wake up and the first thing I do is peer at my weather app to see what the temperature that day would be. I strategically pick the right amounts of clothing, debate whether it was a long wooly socks or no hose sort of day, ponder the necessity of a snuggly warm hat as opposed to something more stylish or whether the knitted scarf was more appropriate for the day rather than the pretty Kashmir scarf. These are the thoughts that go through my head every morning, a clear indication that I have the utmost respect for what's happening outside. But has it worked? No, most certainly not.
The night before last, as shivers started to wrack my body and my very breathing came out in heat waves, I was confounded and unwilling to believe. There was no way I was sick...no freakin' way. So I fought it. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that somehow I had managed to come down with the plague...yet once again. Frankly, I still can't but I'm dealing with it slowly.
Anyhow, clearly MN (yes, Mother Nature and I are just that close that I can give her nicknames) and I have to have a long talk pretty soon. I heard today, again to my astonishment, that there's a snow storm targeting my area on Sunday night. This just won't do. Not at all. I shall confer with her soon and we shall have to have a long chat over iced tea.
I'll let y'all know how that goes.
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