Have you ever seen one of these things? It's a child carrier when bike fanatics want to be one with nature. I've seen them and I have to say I'm always a wee bit impressed. The idea that anyone loves exercise enough to want to lug their kid around with them while they do so? Yea, impressive.
You can probably agree that I'm pretty honest about my aversion to working out. Recently P has been on this gym kick which means he, not so subtly, tells me I should get my butt moving and possibly consider sweating it out an hour a day. I nod, mutter something like 'next week' under my breath and go back to playing Whirly Word on my handheld. He simply rolls his eyes, grabs his gym bag and hauls bootay. I want to point out to him that whenever he gets home from the gym, he doesn't look totally pumped or endorphin-ed out hence why the heck would I want to put myself through that but I refrain. I certainly don't want to discourage him with my negativity. And yes, I do admire him for his dedication. What I don't get are those days he wakes up at 4:30am to work out. What? Oh hell no!
But I digress...so this thingie above. I've seen it plenty around these parts, not shocking at all. With a city full of health fanatics, you get used to all sorts of bizarre contraptions appearing. Around the spring and into summer and fall, bikes like these are everywhere. You gotta watch your step if you want to go running or walking cause these suckers will mow you over in a heartbeat. My theory is that if there's a kid rolling around in the back of one of these thingamabobs, this gives the false impression to cyclists that he/she has the right to turn you into road kill. Fair enough, I don't mess with children.
Still there is a time/place for these to make appearances if you ask me. And today wasn't the time at all.
Now folks, not to blaze off down another path of a weather related rant, I can tell you this much: it's snowing. Let me show you:
Yup, that's this morning. In case you've been living under a rock for a bit now and therefore don't possess a calendar, allow me to tell you what todays date is, March 25. Spring officially 'arrived' last Thursday. Clearly spring is of the male species, lost its way and refuses to ask for directions because it is snowing IN MARCH. Also, this snow isn't falling for an hour, oh no. Why would it be so gracious? It's going to snow throughout today and into tonight. Some reports say 7pm, others say 12am. It doesn't matter. Why? Because it's MARCH and it is NOT supposed to snow in MARCH. I don't know how to stress this enough. (For those who are thinking 'yea but it's snowed before back in 19__ or 20__ in March, please zip it, I need to stay morally outraged here).
Wait, I felt myself slip into a rant. Let me refocus.
I'm driving to work scowling through the windshield at the driving snow. It's not sticking to the ground and had it I wouldn't have cared because I refuse to stay home one more day for snowy reasons. Besides, my baby Stella (otherwise known as my Audi) would blow through any snow anywhere *insert smug smile*. But as I'm muttering darkly to myself wondering what precisely Mother Nature is pissed about, I'm crossing the Memorial Bridge heading into the city where to my right, there's a bikers/jogging path, I see something that causes my brain to stop functioning.
Craning my neck almost out of joint so that I was sure I wasn't hallucinating (since I hadn't had my morning java up to that point) I spot some insane person riding one of the contraptions above (the first picture). He was peddling straight into the slanted snow, head down, covered up so that only his eyes peered through. And attached to the back of his bike? Yea, a carrier. So I figured, no way he's got a kid in that. He's probably carting it around to add some oomph to his exercise routine. Maybe he's got like a 10lb potato sack or onion bag back there to add weight? There is no conceivable friggin' way he had a child in that contrivance, not in these frigid temperatures and ridiculous sideways snow.
I can't say many things surprise me now. After 41 years of breathing, I've seen a lot. Let's not go into all that I've witnessed but it's enough to leave a few scars here and there as well as turning me into a hard-hearted cynic. I can't seem to put anything past the human race. And between my own experiences and those of my friends/family/strangers/stories, sure, I've heard it all. Some initially may take me aback but for the vast majority I take stuff in stride. This however was not one of those instances.
As I came around him, I had an opportunity to espy a small face in the carrier. There wasn't a heck of a lot of opportunity to study the countenance but what I saw was that the kid was red cheeked and...small, I saw that clearly. Oh, I also noticed that the poor thing was cringing. I'm not making this up just to prove my point. I don't like to make up stuff for you bloggers. If I don't have evidence, I won't even bother trying to argue it. Outrage shot straight through me like a lightening bolt. Folks, I'm not a parent. I am not going to sit here and tell you people out there who are, what to do. However I am a human being and I have common sense (most times). And my common sense told me that this was super messed up. What the HELL was this man thinking? If he wanted to be outside trying to resemble a popsicle then more power to him but why was he torturing his child? And if it wasn't his child, then why was he out in the cold torturing someone else's kid? I wanted so badly to pull over, whack the guy straight off his nearly frozen bike and call the cops on him. My normally zenocity (sure, that's a word) went straight out the window.
What really worried me was that if this guy had a wife/partner/whatever out there who was (let's just assume this) well aware of what this moron was all about, then well dang, can there be a bigger dumber couple on earth? These two need to be thrown into a cage, doused in honey with hungry fire ants. 'Just sayin'' I can't help but wonder though, why did God think it was a good idea to allow people like this to reproduce?
Maybe I'm wrong. There is a remote possibility that I'm lathered up into this snit without reason. Maybe these people know precisely what they're doing. Heck maybe it's even okay (even recommended by some pediatrician somewhere) to haul your baby/toddler outdoors in a storm so they can get some 'fresh air' while you work it out. To me, this seems simply off. And yea, I'm judging. Hopefully the lil cutie got back to a warm safe place where snow isn't pelting them in the noggin while their...parent...does something useful, like go swimming with sharks.
Okay, that's enough for today.
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