Okay, I know that I often reveal tidbits of interesting information about myself here and there but for the most part I hold back anything too terribly personal (personal as in stuff about my person, not my life)...um...well at least I think I do. I would go back through all the 60 odd blogs I've banged out to confirm this but hey I'm the first to admit that I'm too lazy and those damn things are wayyyyyy too long. Jeez, I mean how long winded can a person be? How do people not fall asleep mid-read?
Oh but I digress...(which is something I do all the time as you all well know hence deal with it.)
Back to the initial point though...so it's a well known fact around my friends circle, and I'm talkin' about those folks who hang with me, have gone out with me and have had the glorious pleasure of spending evenings with me about town, that for some odd reason, I tend to get a lot of free things. You're thinking, what's the big deal? I suppose it's not but when you're out for an evening with your girlfriends and the waitress hooks you up because you're 'her girl' and therefore at least 50% of the bill is knocked off, that's not such a bad thing, right? Or like when you go to Starbucks every single day, to the point where the barista knows what you'll have and starts to make it for you immediately, and you're charged anywhere between .55 to nada...well then again, it's not such a horrible thing.
Now I've been told by a few gal pals that the reason I get these hook ups is because yours truly is a flirt. Ummmmmmmmmm...no. It may be hard to believe, and a few of my pals who are reading this may even be rolling their eyes, but it's a fact. I do not flirt. I have never flirted. Wait, wait, that's not entirely true. I remember long ago, and I mean long ago, I attempted to flirt with this guy once and as I was busy batting my lashes at him while flinging my hair about in what I thought was a sexy manner, he looked at me with a tilt to his head and said in a concerned voice 'you got something in your eyes?' =\
Right...after that flirting, I realized, didn't like me nor did I like it. Crashing and burning in that way teaches ones lessons, I learned it and have stuck to it every since which was basically to leave the flirting up to the professionals (whoever they may be). But you may wonder then, how do I garner attention enough to score these free-bees? Is it because I'm some stunning model-esq sort of ethereal being? Pfft...Not even in my dreams. Is it because I have a killer bod that makes men drool? Bahahahahha...that would be the joke of the century. I have a figure; I mean round is a figure, right? The so called 'baby fat' that my mother swore I would grow out of as a kid, decided to stick around as an adult and loves me so much that it refuses to leave. I'm perfectly comfy with my size but weirdly enough others are more discomforted by it than I am. Oh well. I do have an okay face and people say I have beautiful eyes (thanks Mom and Dad) but at the end of the day, I'm very much your average Jane. Nothing special, nothing that stands out, nothing that is noteworthy. I won't walk by you on the street leaving some sort of impression. I can guarantee that you will not twist your body around to watch me walk away because I'm just that smoking, not unless it's because I've dropped something or you want to point out to me that I have toilet paper stuck to my shoe or you need directions to the nearest monument.
This, btw, is okay by me. I mean hey, I'm all about blending. As it is by being desi, I always tend to stick out so a bit of DL never hurt. As I've said before, don't feel bad for me, I'm very comfy in my own skin and writing all this down is actually nice, refreshing even.
Um...oh yes so what makes me the recipient of all these free things? And that too sans any flirting or cajoling? Well...its simple people, doesn't take a genius to figure this out: I'm nice.
Are you going 'ooooohhhh!!' or 'hmmmmmm' or 'impossible, she lies!'?
I assure you it's true. I am nice. Now don't mistake this for me being nice on the street to anyone who walks by. I mean I'm not a psycho who walks around grinning and patting people on the back and loving all of humanity. I've told you, I don't like people as a general rule, mankind disappoints and depresses me. What I do though is to be nice to the person I'm looking at. Let's take for instance that barista I spoke of...well...if I walk up to a cashier who has just had about 100 people in line before me demanding their morning java, barking out orders, generally being unpleasant...well how many do you think among those sour faced disgruntled patrons actually took the time to say 'good morning, how are you' and meant it? Right, think about that and then you'll see why I try to be the person who walks up there and says with sincerity 'Hi, how are you? Hope you're morning improves!' with the inflection in my voice that conveys to them that I'm truly asking (and/or commenting, wishing, etc...), not just using it as banal filler before getting the elixir of life. They are not a stepping stone for me, they are humans.
Just like this, when I'm at a bar with friends, out to dinner with those I love, I do not treat the waiters or waitresses like servants saying to myself 'that's what they're for, what they're being paid to do'. Well so what? Yes they're being paid but does it mean that you have to marginalize their existence? When you're at work and your boss or clients fail to be civil to you, does that mean its okay because after all they pay you? Hmm, when did a job actually mean you're their own personal whipping boy/girl simply because they employ you? Is that how it is or should be? Yea, not in my world it's not. "Treat others like you'd want to be treated", ever heard of those words? May be I'm quoting it wrong but it's something like that, you get the gist.
This is why I get free stuff, not because I flirt, not because I flash skin or make suggestive comments, truly I am not built to do all that nonsense. What I am is friendly, nice and I will talk to others with compassion and caring. I will joke with them and I will make sure they feel at ease with me. I will basically humanize them, as they should be, as they are. I never ask for anything, and when they do give it, I often feel humbled. I do not take it as my due...that the smile I have been bestowing on them deserves payment. The only thing I do want in return is that may be next time, they smile in return or say a kind word back when I may most need it, even if it's not calculated. I like the idea that I'll walk away from someone and they will think to themselves 'well she was nice'. That's truly all I strive for. If the world tomorrow stopped giving me free things, I can tell you in all honesty, I would still smile, still be nice.
That's just how I roll.
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