I believe I mentioned once (or twice) before that I had another blog for a while, actually longer than just 'a while', approximately 3 years. Why didn't I just continue with that blog instead of creating a whole new one? Well honestly because most of it wasn't fit for general public consumption. Let's just say that I bared my soul on that blog and only a few lucky folks had full access to it. However nostalgia has been knocking at my door lately which has prompted me to go back to read that old blog and whereas most of the 200+ entries are still not appropriate for republishing, a few are good enough so I think I'll go ahead and do so.
Keep in mind that many things that are in these reposted blogs are now irrelevant in my life. The friends are still friends but may not play a big role any longer, the situations have long since lapsed into nothing but memories but I think for the most part, the feelings behind the words remains. I STILL think that chivalry is dead. *shrugs*
My first thought was that I may need to edit a few words here and there to tone these down somewhat but I've decided against that. That blogger was me as much as who I am today and therefore I should represent myself completely honestly. Through the years I have changed, calmed down, become a bit more careful with my choice of words but regardless I think you deserve to see who I was as much as who I am. Beware, the language isn't all that clean and therefore if you don't like to read curse words, please don't read on. If you're okay with it, enjoy : ) This was posted in November of 2007:
Believe it or not darlings, it's dead. It's gone the way of the Dodo.
I've had a lot of time to reflect on this considering certain key events in my friend (and yes even my) life. It's proof positive that all sorts of chivalry and romance of yor is dead. And worse of all, our modern woman asses don't even expect it anymore. Sure there are relationship anomalies...the rare happily ever afters but those are just that…rare.
You may be sitting there frowning, thinking, what’s wrong with her? Well let me assure you, there was a time when I believed in knights on white steeds, castles, beautiful princesses and the above mentioned ‘happily every after’. I wasn’t always the pessimist I am today. If you’ve read any of my earlier entries, than you know that I still in some small part of my soul harbor hope that it is still alive and well (most likely living in Sweden). For right now, I don’t believe in it. Bah!
I once sat watching television, zoning in and out as I often do while multitasking, and caught a commercial. It was for the United States Army. A guy fighting in shiny gleaming armor suddenly morphs into this marine with a big saber. I sighed at how awesome that commercial was.
Now if I saw that blasted commercial, I’d launch my red leather kitten heeled Nordstrom boot right at it (the one with the real sharp point).
There are no knights. The knights of today are men who love to play with their big guns (yes, plenty of pun intended here) and who like to have control and scare the bejesus out of anyone who may look at them funny. What are police, Secret Service, CIA, FBI and the militia but a lot of men who love to dawdle with their beloved firearms more than their loved ones?
Okay wait, I’m not being fair in my rantings darlings, I know this. No, of course there are those men out there who fight for our country, protect us, shelter us…blah blah blah…however…(and I’m focusing on men here for a second because I know a lot of you are thinking, oh hell there are a lot of women in the military and all those other agencies but let me get this out)….however, true chivalry is dead. Not the kind that involves tanks, bullet proof jackets and black sunglasses.
The chivalry I speaketh of is the type that makes a man turn to the one he loves and allows himself to care for her in the face of all adversity, even in the face of his own self. The chivalry I speaketh of darlings, is the type that makes a man step up to the plate and declare himself for the world to behold. It’s the type that makes a man keep his ass at home where he is needed instead of gallivanting all around hither and yon. It’s the type of man who gives of himself and expects only love in return and is thankful for it. It’s the type of man who knows how to appreciate the woman who loves him more than her own soul and is gratified by that mere notion and thanks God for her in his life. That kind of chivalry is dead in all but a very select few. I feel blessed that I happen to know some of those select few but believe me, they are truly few. *le sigh*
What more evidence do I need than how my dearest sister from another sperm has been treated by her loved one. The cur. The wimp (No worries, I won’t launch into another tirade about him cause that’ll take up more KB than you can imagine) which I knew he was for a long time anyhow, however standing in a lonely quiet hall while she wept brokenly into my shoulder, quacking all over while she was wracked with sobs, does nothing but solidify my views and harden my resolve to hurt him one day (i.e. lay him low). He could have come out and said it long ago, “this isn’t going to work, let’s just walk away from each other.” And yes, see that period at the end of that statement, it would have been essential to her peace of mind. But did he? Nah. Of course not, because the jackass has absolutely no sense of honor. It’s his selfishness that drove him to say nothing to her, not a damn peep but still allow himself endless opportunities to peek into her life through her blog while he stayed incommunicado about his own life. What an ass wipe.
Do I need further proof? Well here’s more for you in case you aren’t already nodding your head along with this diatribe.
I went down to have a …erm…break with one of my colleagues (who I shall refer to as "Precious") and she told me that her bf D, knowing she was diagnosed with pneumonia, knowing she was at the hospital just a day before, knowing that she needed some TLC, knowing that this girl got out of bed, bundled herself up and trooped all the way to his apartment while she suffered from said pneumonia because he didn’t come to her place, still went out to a club and then, to add insult to injury did NOT return even after he promised he would! Instead the jackass went out with his friends to Fly (where he goes all the time) and then to some jack-off’s place until the wee hours of the morning. I’m not kidding about wee hours friends, he called Precious at 5 am. Hello...you call an ailing Precious at 5am??? Where the hell is your head? Oh yeah, now I remember, right up your ass!
You think that’s bad? Isn’t that reason enough to apply boot to ass and kick this dude right to the curb? Well get this loves, he proceeded to promise to spend Sunday with Precious and what does he do? Sleep in till 1:30pm (cause who wouldn’t with a pneumonia stricken gf suffering around the house?) and then inform her that he’s going to a fucking game. A game! Forget the fact that a day earlier he promised to spend all of Sunday canoodling with said Precious.
Listen to me carefully loves:
Chivalry is dead.
Let’s all (read that as females) bend our head for a moment of silence and congratulate ourselves for:
a) not being that stone hearted
b) possessing emotions
c) knowing how to love
d) being able to give of ourselves selflessly wanting nothing in return but a hug, smile, pat, love
e) knowing that chivalry is indeed dead and therefore having no expectations of it manifesting itself in anyone
f) if it does manifest, then we are nice and surprised and take it for what it is and don’t look a gift horse in the mouth
g) can smile through our tears
h) and do a lot of other things as well!
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