Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Post Germany Blues and Thoughts

So it's been a few days since I arrived home.  I am elbow deep in work and was shocked to the core when I saw how much pending projects had stacked up even though I had been meticulous in cleaning out the 'to-do' list before leaving.  I had to sigh heavily on Friday morning as I gazed at all the correspondences.  And thank God that I had such amazing colleagues who toats had my back while I was away.  Never mind that them biatches shoved everything back to me in two hot shakes of a tail feather as soon as I walked through the door, I'm just blessed to have them to rely on :P

But on a serious note, it is nice to have folks that I can 100% rely on to have my back.  This is something I've found at the place I work and it's refreshing.  In my previous work life I often was left to blow around at the mercy of whatever typhoon was headed my way.  Sure, I was also back then super lucky to have had colleagues who would jump in whenever they could but their time was as much of a commodity as mine and we were far more at the mercy of the expectations of the partners who we supported.  Not everyone was understanding that you were on vacation or that you wouldn't necessarily be looking at your handheld and responding at the drop of a hat.  In fact, for the most part it was an assumed so if you're butt was basking up the rays of some Caribbean sun?  Well you best have wifi.  Now you know why I left the law firm life.  Just sayin'...
 
Back to the blues.  Here's a confession:  I've been totally unmotivated.  Maybe that's not such a shocking one at that.  I mean who isn't after they've returned from vaca, right?  But today is Tuesday and focus is far off in the distance.  I can't seem to catch up with it no matter how fast I try to sprint.  Fact is that even in my thoughts I'm just not a runner.  And worst of all, every evening I sit around thinking about what I was doing at this time last week with S and blah, blah, blah.

Even the Korean drama's hold no appeal anymore. I know, shocking, right?  That's how deep this pain is. Mhmm...
 
Oh wait, have I mentioned that before leaving I was big time into Korean drama's on Netflix?  When I confessed this to a few friends, they looked at me as if I had lost my mind.  But watch one and you would understand.  S understands.  She in fact, and no shocker here at all, watches them also, but in Germany and not on Netflix.  We are such twins.
 
I was texting with her this morning and she told me that M, after reading something between us on FB, said that we were crazy and so similar.  I wholeheartedly agree.  She's the white version of the brown me.  Or maybe I'm the white version of the brown her?  Whatever it is, we are twinsies living 4,500 miles apart.  So wrong. 
 
But back to the problems here at work. 
 
I've recently been graced with a third Director to work with.  She is a little high maintenance and this new 'relationship' should be interesting.  I'm seriously giving thoughts to changing professions (again) and possibly looking to be a test crash dummy.  That sounds like a viable option, right?

Nah, it's not that bad but I'm underwater and totally overwhelmed with all the new things dropped onto my plate.  The transitioning of her into my world began the week before I left for Germany.  I had shoved all thoughts of it out of my head completely while there, refusing to give into pondering over something that I didn't need to deal with in the immediate but reality kicked me upside the head once home.

In fact I started this blog yesterday and now its...well today, Wednesday.  And I nearly got indigestion thanks to work.  How did this happen?  Well I decided to sit outside and have lunch, even ordered myself a turkey burger which I was eating at my leisure while playing Bubble Witch Saga (total new obsession).  I was about 1/3rd into it when a meeting reminder popped up onto my phone.  Damn it.  Luckily the waiter is someone I know since I frequent that place and he was quick to give me my check as well as insisted that he wrap my barely consumed food so that just 'in case' I got hungry later.  Oh how this young man doesn't know me.  There is no such thing and once my appetite is shot, it's shot.  No getting it back.

Anyhow, I've barely had enough time to type out those few sentences.  I'm tired, sleepy and irritated.  Nothing is amusing me right now and I really, really want to book a ticket either back to Germany or somewhere else that's far away from where I am presently.  So sad, right?

Here are a few thoughts I want to share which have been birthed since coming back from this trip:

1.)  I like traveling alone.  That doesn't mean always but there is a certain freedom that I enjoy which is undeniable.  The ability to go where you want at your own pace and without answering to anyone is very freeing.  I may do it again.

2.)  We are all the same.  I said it in the prior blog but I emphasis it here as well.  No matter how far you roam, although the cultures and traditions may differ, humanity?  The same.

3.)  I need to take vacation.  This seems like such a simple one, right?  Everyone should know this yet not everyone follows.  In my professional past I've gone through years without indulging and that's plain ol' stupid.  I don't know about anyone else but I at least need the mental break as well as a release from the daily routine.  I have every intention of taking more vacations in the near future, not allowing them to lapse.  I owe this to myself.

4.)  Falling in love with a place you've never been is so easy.  And it is.  I loved/love Germany.  I wish I could say that for Turkey as well but oh well...I was able to create a long lasting love affair with a country and it's people and I'm okay with that.  Will I go back again?  Yes, as long as S is there, otherwise I would be happy with visiting other parts of the world as well and cheating on Germany : ) 

5.)  Home is truly where you hang your hat.  By this I don't mean simply my house here in the States but even S's beautiful, intimate little pad 4,500 miles away.  It's not about where your things are, it's about who is there to share those things with you or who smiles at you and chases you around with vitamins because that's how much they love you.

I'm sure I'll have more thoughts as I settle back into my 'normal' life.  I feel as if I've allowed so many things to slip by, responsibilities and such, because I have so little to no motivation.  I really need to get it together.

Wish me luck :(   

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