As Mother's Day swiftly approaches (in fact a mere few hours away), I confess I am very sad. This year, my Ammu (Mom) is visiting my cousin in Europe. Although initially when she booked the tickets and I was told the dates, I hadn't taken note of the fact that she would be gone during the holiday but by the time realization dawned, I knew she couldn't change her plans. So this year I won't physically be with her which totally sucks but I've also thought of it this way: doesn't matter where in the world she is, she's always with me.
This year, my gift to Ammu will be this blog. May be it's not much but I know that the best way to express my feelings is through my writing so here it is:
What is my mother to me? It's actually a very hard question to answer. She is the person who gave me birth, that's the obvious isn't it? Yet I could never say that it was in fact just that simple. My mother to me is everything. Keeping in mind that my father is no less important to me but since Father's Day isn't for another month, I will take the liberty to only speaking of my darling mommy.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself: this is the person I want to become? I've had a few people through the years who I have wanted to emulate but no one quite like Ammu. And this isn't a recent thing. As a child I recall laying down on my stomach on her bed watching her with rapt attention as she would get ready for some party or event. My eyes would trace the almost lyrical movement of her hands, I would be in awe the way she would deftly apply the barest of makeup yet transform right before my eyes and when she would so skillfully wind the beautiful 6 yards of sari material about her, I almost held my breath. When would I grow up to do just these things?
But that was but one small thing that goes into the whole picture of what my mom truly is and I'm sure I can write for days and not really be able to give you all the details that make her in essence not just an incredible mother but the unbelievably kind human being, which is in itself the best part of her.
And what are those "more parts" exactly?
Her smile, which makes me feel as if all is right with the world.
Her laughter, which makes the day a bit brighter.
The way she welcomes people with warm open arms even if they are completed unexpected guests.
The ability to make a person feel as if they are loved and beloved, a skill greatly lacking in most.
A heart that is so big that anyone else pain, becomes her own.
Also a heart so large that other peoples joy will be equally celebrated within her own self.
The tireless sense of humanity to help those who are most in need of it without any regard to herself.
The generosity of spirit and kindness that rules every step she takes.
The core beliefs that she has held close to her and has shaped her for who she is and will always be.
The ultimate conviction that being a 'good' person is enough to fight anything bad.
The amazing ability to smile and welcome even those who are unkind or unwelcome with a simple phrase of "be kind to even your enemy".
The unshakable faith in Allah (swt) and his benevolence.
That family is above all the most important thing in this world and that through good or bad, you stand as one.
That true fact that when she cries, it is not just for herself, me, our family but for the whole world and those tears are real.
That with one word from her I feel as if those hard things I face are a bit easier.
That even when I don't know that something is going on with me, she has the innate ability to know.
That when I'm sick, she can cure it with one light touch, one soothing hand, one sweet word.
That she can bring tears to my eyes still when I leave to go home after spending a few days with her.
That she is and will always be one of the most spiritually solid Muslims I know.
That her love for family goes deep and binds.
That she was able to make me believe that mothers and daughters can truly be best friends.
That whatever I should do, I should do it with love and consideration for my fellow human beings.
The imparting of wisdom with generosity.
The ability to make me feel as if I am still her little girl and will always be.
The person who had told me once that my life would be wonderful and would not let me forget that even when I was most hopeless.
The very basic fact that she sacrificed all big and little happiness's in her existence for us.
That she will always be my first greatest love affair.
There truly is so much more to say yet actually words do fail, sometimes they are just not enough.
Gosh, it's funny how hard this blog is for me to write, not because I don't have anything to write but it's almost like I have too much to say, too much to tell you. She is truly that incredible to me, one of Allah's greatest creations.
To all those who have their mothers still around, don't take them for granted because I can bet you if you ask those who no longer have them walking the earth, they would tell you to cherish every moment, to appreciate every second, to embrace every bit of them. Because of your mother, YOU are here. Never forget this.
For those who no longer have your parents, I pray that you find smiles on this day coming from memories of this days in the past.
For all those wonderful mothers out there in the world and who are reading this, you are all Gods gift for without you, there would be no mankind.
And finally...
My darling Ammu, Happy mother's day, I love you.
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