Good Lord in heaven it was hard to get out of bed this morning. Typically the bed and I are one anyhow, but this A.M. I was, no kidding, fighting an epic battle to just get out of it. Eventually it happened and now here I am at work glumly staring at the screen wondering how I’ll manage to get through the next few days. It’s not the work that overwhelms me, I mean that’s always there, but when ones motivation is at about a zero (or may be in the negative numbers) it’s truly hard to just buckle down and get to it. The smallest thing can distract me in this moment like a post-it.
So as I was miserably making my way into the firm this morning, the lovely receptionist “E” greeted me with a kind, sweet smile and I again say that sometimes a smile is all it takes to make your otherwise horrible ‘meh’ day just a wee bit better. She asked me how I was and I responded with a bright and cheerful ‘great’ even though I felt far from it. I asked her how her weekend had been and the dear told me that she hadn’t been feeling well. Now this lady is truly a darling hence when I said ‘you poor thing’ I meant it. Sometimes, in my more evil-er moments, someone has told me that they hadn’t felt okay, or something bad had happened to them and I’ve thought to myself “serves you right”. Yes, don’t frown. I too can be downright mean when I want to. My general meanness can be less than others but mean nonetheless.
As she was telling me the story about her slight illness this weekend, she also mentioned how frustrated she was with her man. Apparently she had managed to pull herself out of bed long enough to go to a family gathering but upon arrival realized she was better of abed. So she gently asked her husband (I believe on a few occasions) whether he was ready to vamoose but he either didn’t hear her or just plain wasn’t ready. She told me up to that point she had been considerate, asking him politely whether he was ready to go instead of telling him she was but after waiting another half hour or so she had just about had enough. At that juncture she marched over to him and basically they were on the way.
So there she was, this lovely woman who is always kind, smiling and a total sweetheart, clearly irritated telling me how she hated treating him like a child but that sometimes there was nothing she could do about it and loathed having to exert herself like that when he is after all a grown ass man (my words, not hers, she’s too sweet to curse). And she also continued to tell me that since both their cars did not have working air conditioners, and she can’t stand heat, she always, always, has to remind him to put the window down. With sort of a roll of the eyes and a throwing up of her hands, she said to me “why do I have to remind him every single time? By now, can’t he just do it? Why can’t he remember?” I started to laugh because I honestly knew precisely how she felt.
Someone told me long ago that no matter how hard you try, you can never change a man, therefore don’t bother. I asked that person then what do you do? She said, well you just learn to adapt to each others likes and dislikes. The real true soul of someone just doesn’t change. She didn’t say it quite like that back then, I don’t think even she was that in-touch to know for sure but with time this is what I’ve learned. No matter how much I’d like P to be a bit more suave or romantic or this or that, he won’t be. I won’t say “I’m not complaining” because I’ve done plenty of it through the years but at the end of the day he is the least of many, many evils. Hell P probably is much better than most men.
Regardless of this he can also be one irritating git. Man alive sometimes the urge to shoving him into on-coming traffic when he’s pushing all the wrong buttons by his thoughtless actions/words/comments is so strong that I have to physically restrain myself. Oh don’t bother taking a screenshot and reporting my evil intent to the police. If you’re a guy and in a relationship, I guarantee you your spouse/gf/love/whatever has had very similar thoughts if not on a daily basis, often enough, about you. Don’t think you’re neither special nor a-typical. You guys are all annoying to your women to some degree.
Well, this conversation with E got me thinking really. Most of us married (and those in relationships) really do have the same issues, no matter from which walk of life, race, greed, and religion you’re from. Listening to her made me feel somewhat connected to other women, as if I’m somehow apart of this organization which is revealing itself to me slowly…the ‘all women have to act like mothers to their men’ club. When the hell was I initiated? When I said “kabool hai” (that means I do basically)? And why didn’t I get a choice?
Oh anyhow…I try not to treat P like a child, and I mean I really do, but it’s so darn hard when he’s being a…well a child. Like for instance when he says something that he knows I won’t like and then behaves all surprised when I yell at him. What’s so shocking about it, the fact that you’re getting yelled at or that I’m not amused? Either way I don’t try to get annoyed by something he does for the first time because typically with him I know that he surely will do it again and I’ll have ample opportunity to holler about it later. And then when I’ve finally reached my breaking point and begin to snit outta control, the folio has the nerves to feel put out and tells me that I shouldn’t treat him like a kid.
Uh…okay. Well…here’s some advice.
You want to be treated like adults, Guys? Well, act like one. Don’t expect us to be overtly amused when you ignore something we’ve told you 100 times and then still ask questions about it. Don’t be shocked when you get a good yelling at because you (once again) do something we told you we just don’t like really. And do not, please for the love of God, seem as if you’re about to have a heart attack when you find that we’re acting like nags or your mother because once again you fail to pay attention to something that may be important to us (and yes, something once again we probably told you’re deaf butts about 1000 times) and you fail to either focus or completely ignore. If we can make so many compromises, when we can listen to what you say (not all of us mind you, but I would say a good majority?) and try to at least adjust for your sake, why can’t you do the same? Want to be treated like a man? It’s simple really, just be one.
Pick up your socks, Boo-Boo, stop throwing wet towels on the floor, Sweetie, quit asking us where your cell phone or wallet is, Darling, do not get out of sorts when you don’t have dinner on the table because you’re happy bootay could as easily have gone and cooked as well instead of waiting for us to come home to do the honors, Honey-pie. Potty humor isn’t ‘funny’ all the time, farting in bed is gross, burping loudly is disgusting and walking around scratching your stomach (or other things…ahem) is epically unattractive.
Don’t misunderstand me, I am fully aware of the annoying/horrible/terrible/seriously not attractive at all remotely, things that women can do but I’m not talking about us, I’m talking about men specifically here. I will definitely write another blog about women too, just to be fair.
Anyhow, E is a bit older than me, her hubby more so than her and as she was describing the events of the weekend, I realized that no matter how old (or young) a man be, he is still ultimately immature and ridiculous and needs babying. Women are not nags by virtue of nature, no; we become nags because men turn us into them. So there, sit on that and think about it.
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