I'm Back...I Think!

You like the title? How self assured, yet indecisive I sound? 

Let me dive right in and say, if there is nothing more evident about time going by fast, it certainly became crystal clear when I logged into this long-forgotten blog. Today, randomly, I was thinking, "oh yeah, I have a blog, what happened to that?" (as if someone else had taken over because I'm a whole-ass publishing house or something with a staff that manages stuff) and then thought, "what the hell is my login?" This was followed by at least 30 minutes of trying to actually access it. It was touch and go, and I almost gave up. But I digress (did you really think anything would change, and I wouldn’t?). My last post was in December of 2019. It's now September of 2024. See, time elapsing, but seriously...

What in the world, Marty McFly?? When did I become a character in Back to the Future??

So why the great swath of time between that post and this?

Did I just start to lose interest in writing anymore, you may wonder? In a way, yes, but let me explain. I know why I've not been blogging—mostly the lack of words, but not a lack of things to say. I've just been processing as well as accepting so much change in my world since that last post (actually, even before). In rereading it, I was a little astounded by how trite it was when I was in the midst of so many things happening in the world, and my own life was actively altering at that point. My guess is that I simply wasn't prepared to put all those crazy facts and thoughts down in a way that would make sense to anyone.

One thing’s for sure, I've changed. A lot. And at the same time, I've remained the same. I've embraced a lot of truths about myself and had to rethink a lot of things, too—a journey I began well before 2019. That's okay. Getting to know your own self is no small challenge. Am I a better person due to all this? Yeah, I think I am. I've found a certain amount of peace, but do I have a long way to go yet? Definitely.

In writing this post, I'm also rediscovering my own voice. I haven't written anything substantial in ages. Not really. Even on FB, I've noticed a withdrawal of sorts from engaging too much. At one point, I used to write these impossibly long posts with ramblings and rantings, pithy anecdotes, or wisdom. The same 30 folks always liked them, and I was good, happy, content.

Then came the slow removal of myself from social media, which I contend was natural as life became full. But the bigger reason was that it seemed like the virtual world, which I once found succor in, became toxic with nothing but judgment, anger, and a sense of entitlement that I couldn't identify with. Hold on. Let me make this clear because some may think (well, those who don't know me) that I invite these things due to whatever sort of connections I have on FB.

If it wasn't evident before, let me be clear. I am a liberal. I am moderate as well.

During the nightmare years of The Orange Asshat's (Trump's) presidency, I cut ties with a lot of folks for whatever personal reasons I had, leaving behind a definite echo chamber of my own political spectrum. Well, at least I thought so. Come to find out, just because we're on the same side does not mean we are like-minded. After witnessing enough cancel culture, ego, and superiority that actually just made me angry, I made some effort to protect my own mental health by disengaging.

So here I am, living life, somewhat changed, and I think I'm back to the world of blogging? I say "I think" only because this is intimidating as hell due to the dustiness of my fingers, and I'm not disciplined enough to manage any sort of cadence to posting or anything really. I know this because I still have full bottles of vitamins that I promised I would take and did so regularly, for about a month.

I repeat, I've changed, but not that much.

The next few blogs will be about these aforementioned changes, some realizations, my thoughts about the world in general, my relationship with social media, and my own health journey (no, I'm totally fine, but there are some interesting things going on that I want to be transparent about so that maybe someone else on a similar journey can get some support). Oh also, food and photography. Lots to share about that. And trips...okay this is getting out of control. There's a lot to share, that's pretty much what I'm trying to get across.

I kinda hope this reaches some of my old readers. I'm not sure it will, but at this point, this blog is going back to being a little bit of a diary. If someone wants to read it in the meantime, that's cool, and I welcome you.

Now let me start writing the next one before I become disinterested because that's always a possibility.