Blog time and I have no idea what
I’m going to write about. That’s
right. Nothing earth shattering or
amazing. In fact, maybe I’ll go with a
string of nonsensical ramblings that will end up making no sense but giving me
the joy of knowing I posted something and proving that I’m not in reality the
worst blogger IN THE WORLD.
But actually maybe I do have a
topic…oh snap!
Y’all, it’s Ramadan. For those who are a part of my FB clan, you
know this already, for those who don’t, now you know. And it’s been about 12 days and
counting. The end is a long way away so
let’s not talk about that. How is my
Ramadan coming along, you may wonder because there are absolutely no other
valid thoughts that you could possibly be having other than what Rubi’s Ramadan
has been like? “Well now that you ask…”
Not bad. I’ve been bitching nonstop about the lethargy
and headaches yet I can say it’s really not as awful as it has been in years
past when every hour was being counted to the blessed holiday. Then again being only a week and some change
into it, maybe I should shut my trap and not temp the fates, eh? Just watch, now that I’ve said this, in
another week I’ll be in the fetal position groaning and clutching my stomach in
agony as if I were going to perish at that very moment (this has happened, I
assure you).
I’ve of course connected with
lots of mine brethren who are going through the same and I’ve heard a range of
emotions starting from, “Allhamdullilah, it’s fine, Allah is great” to “OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG
when is this going to be over, I’m DYING!!!”
I totally get all of these and the in-between. My mom, I think, is the best because she is
so very religious and loves this month but is equally human about it.
For instance, the day before the
fast started she called me asking how I was preparing for the big month. I told her I was having as much coffee as I
could suck down and it wasn’t a problem because I would have to be awake late
anyhow to start the fast. She, who would
otherwise yell at me for consuming so much caffeine, instead confessed with a
half laugh and a bit of guilt laced into her words that after leaving the
afternoon prayer at the mosque she had headed straight to the pizza place and
got herself not only a pizza but two subs.
I was stunned into silence. Let
me paint a picture for you of my mom so you can appreciate why this was so
blazing hilarious.
She’s about 5 foot next to
nothing, the sort of slim I only wish I could be, and she wears a hijab. She hardly looks anywhere near her age (which
I personally am grateful for since most tell me I don’t look my age and can
only credit my parents) with youthful features, alert eyes, an angular face,
and a fierce style sense when she dresses up, oh and she’s fiercely
Muslim. Now don’t get that confused for
extremism or any such nonsense. She just
practices the religion as it should be and studies it extensively as well. I admire her really for the knowledge she’s
garnered. And on top of all this, she’s
kind of a health freak. Having had been
a manager at GNC for ages, she’s pretty hip to the right supplements and how to
maintain one’s body. So when she says
she went and scored herself all sorts of unhealthy fattening foods while I was
sucking on caffeine (my third big cup of the day), and after the right amount
of pause, I burst out laughing in the crowded café I was sitting in, drawing
all sorts of questioning looks for the effort.
She continued to tell me that she
had consumed half the pizza (really it was something like 3 slices) and had
every intention of eating the sub.
Frankly, and knowing her, she didn’t.
I never followed up which I should have.
But this gives you an idea of the pre-Ramadan crazy. As for the Ramadan crazy? That’s even better.
Sitting around one day at home
feeling as if I was going to die if I couldn’t have a piece of something,
seriously contemplating whether it was okay to at least smell a cookie even if
I didn’t eat it, my friend texts to ask how the fast was going. I tell her what I was presently contemplating
and she responded with “I get it”.
I asked her what’s up with her
and she wrote back “It’s not good.”
This response of course alarmed
me a bit, as it should have, and in turn being the dutiful friend I wrote back “omg
what happened, sweetie??? Want to talk
about it???” It took me 10 tries to formulate
that response and I kept backspacing. I
blame the weakness of the fast for that since normally my fingers are nimble
AF.
I saw the little bubble appear
and was anxious until I saw the response:
I had a dream that I was eating
but I thought I was awake and that I was fasting and eating at the same time,
which you know can’t happen, but what was really weird was that I was eating a
whole side of beef by myself, as in a whole side of a cow, even half the skull
was attached…and I don’t eat beef! Then
I woke up thinking about beef so I went and got a steak and I don’t know what
to do with it. My life is a mess.
How does one properly respond to
this? I don’t even remember what I did
other than sit back and think about steak and get grumpy because the sun was
high in the sky even at that moment. Oh
but the struggle is so real, folks, don’t underestimate it even if we make it
look so easy!!!!!!
And it continues. Inspired by her beef story, a few days later
I sat around thinking that a steak would be great, and obsessed to no end until
I got my butt up and went to the grocery store.
I came back with makings for a lasagna.
WTF? How did that happen anyhow? And now I want a steak. Crap.
Maybe the reason I have no other
topic to write about is the fact that I have food on the brain. The next month I’ll be looking up recipes for
the most ridiculous foods imagining breaking fast with it while in reality I’ll
end up eating something like whatever was already made from the day before or
whatever my mom sends to feed her lazy daughter. This is truth in the ugliest form. But the pics of food look so good, a girl can
fantasize you know. Think, Food Porn.
Okay, well now that I’ve told you
the low-level silly hilarity that can commence during this month, I’m going to
watch the horizon and stalk the sun.
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