I'm back...(I believe I may have another post that says the same thing)...again

I’ve been quiet for a while.  Blogging hasn’t been my first priority but then again should it ever?  Shouldn’t my life be?  So what’s that say about my life when I do post a rash of blogs?  Never mind, I don’t need to soul search that much.

I’m sorry that I’ve been MIA.  I’m back to some extent and I say it thus simply because when it comes to my writing, it can be a hit or miss thing.  No need to lie to the same people who are witness to my behavior.  But what I’ve come to realize since my absence (once again) is that I miss writing down my thoughts.  They may be of no use to anyone else other than me but that’s okay.  This medium of social media has become my own personal therapy.

So what’s been going on?  Well, work…and life, which has been consistently throwing me some really crazy ass curve balls.  Not that it didn’t before but now?  It’s way worse.  It’s like I’m on a roller coaster which I just can’t seem to get off of.  This particular coaster has very, very, tremendously high highs, and horribly low lows.  They say adversity makes you stronger?  What doesn’t kill you also does the same thing, right?  Well I’m okay with being weak, enough strength, thanks J.  Frankly, I think I’m strong enough.  But to be honest, I don’t want to talk about the latter so instead I’ll address the former.  I’ve been busy with my new career path.  I started this job with one job title and most likely in a few weeks it’ll change to another.  Will that be more demanding and pressure filled?  Heck yea but I accept the challenge and embrace it only so that I can distract myself from all the other crap that fills my head.  I’ve always been taught to work hard and prove myself.  I did that.  I guess it’s paying off but this fast?  I couldn’t have imagined.  That’s the best thing about working in a small company I guess, the opportunity to advance is greater.   I didn’t know this before since all the law firms I worked for were goliaths and promotions were far and few in-between.

The most recent hurdle that looms before me professionally speaking though, is slightly laughable and shouldn’t even be a big deal but to me?  It’s a biggie.  And considering all the learning curves I’ve had to deal with and the insecurity of being the biggest dumbass in this place, this is the one thing I seem to be most scared of:  I have to write a CV.  Um…what?  Yes, I recently received an email from the marketing director saying I had to have one ready by Friday.  If no one has noticed, it’s Wednesday.  And I keep staring at this stupid thing wondering how in the world I’m qualified or impressive enough to even have a CV.  I mean, it’s…me.  I’m not that important in the grand scheme of things and no one’s gonna look at my work history and be overly impressed…but my company seems to think otherwise.  So yea, Friday, and its Wednesday.  I’m so screwed.

Moving on… summer has come on full force also.  People are out and about making the most of the weather and yes, also even complaining about it.  We humans, never quite satisfied with what we get, are we?  Today I went outside to get coffee and take a moment to…breathe, which hasn’t been as easy as it had always been before, who knew…and I was smacked upside the head with a ton of happy people wandering around aimlessly.  I’ve told you folks before how I work in a location which attracts a lot of tourists, since we’re literally on the waterfront.  I have also groused on about how I hate this particular brand of miscreants (which they most definitely are not, just tourists) because I can’t be doing the same thing (let’s label this as ‘jealousy’).  Today my bitterness towards them was exceptionally high. 

As I stood there listening to music trying to find a moment of Zen while also at the same time trying to breath (again let me stress how recently this has been very tough to do, although such a simple action if you think about it) I look up to see a tourist with a map looking confused.  The first thing I noticed?  He had really hairy legs.  I mean as in, super gorilla-esq, I could braid it, sorta hair.  Bleh.  I did a mental grimace although I knew better than to judge people for such things.  But hairy-man sees me and all of a sudden he’s heading in my direction.  Crappppp!!!  Why oh why does this always happen to me?  I’ve been told that I don’t look terribly approachable when I’m out and about in the city (precisely what I’m aiming for since I do not appreciate being bothered) but why do visitors not see this also?  Maybe I need to wear a tag around my neck saying “go away”?  And since my mood was not quite up to quipping and giving directions (let’s be honest here, for human interaction of any sort), I pivoted on my heels and walked away, back into the building and to my office.  I saw a flash of surprise on the guys face as I swung into motion but I just didn’t care.

You know what?  That was just pure mean.  I realized that then and more so now that I’ve been able to reflect on it.  My attitude needs to improve, seriously.  I’ll start to work on that ASAP…yeah, right.  Pfft. 

Anyhow, this post was simply to say, I’m back.  And I am.  I’ll post more and hopefully won’t be such a flake about it.  I don’t know if any of my followers are actually following anymore or even bothers to check back but I’m going to make every effort to get y’all to find amusement in my thoughts again, somehow.