So here I am in the air winging to the west coast for 7 days of my first vacation I've ever taken alone in 17 years. Yes that's not a typo. 17 years. Actually let me restate that. It's more like 40 years. Are you stunned? Surely I'm missing something, right? But I assure you I am not. I've had a bit of time to think about it and the above astounding number is accurate.
So here are the facts. From birth to marriage ( age 23) I lived breathed and traveled with the parents. Where I went, they went and vice versa. This is fairly typical in the desi world, don't think my parents are unusual that way. After marriage it's been P and I always together.
Of course I've traveled without P, like for instance business trips, to go back and see my parents when i lived in CA and I've even had girls weekends away but you will note that I am always with someone or my eventual destination is to go join someone(s). Even the business trips were, obviously, not for pleasure and often I had traveled with a group of people or met up with colleagues. All in all I've had any opportunity at all to just be...alone.
Now knowing this you may wonder if the idea of being on my own for 7 days worries, intimidates or even frightens me. I can assure you, not at all. I've long since realized that I enjoy time by myself, to be able to have the luxury of doing what I want, when I want and how I want. This realization actually came to me back on 2008 when I was on an extended business trip to Hong Kong. Having been there for nearly 3 weeks surrounded by colleagues and friends (which was actually a hoot) I stumbled upon a day when I needed to go into Kowloon alone (we were all staying at the airport hotel which was a 45 minute bullet train away from HK proper) in order to finish up some last minute gift buying.
F, the same F whose wedding I'm going to Seattle to attend as i type this, was also there with me and by that point we were pretty sick of each other so both of us gleefully agreed to go our separate ways, relenting to meet back up for dinner at the airport later that night. I was super excited at the prospect of not only having a whole day to myself but to be able to navigate HK alone, at my own speed without having to wait for anyone or take another person into consideration. Not for a second did I feel any sense of trepidation that after all I was in a foreign country surrounded by people who spoke a language I didn't understand or could read, at all! (Normally I try not to abuse exclamation points but that sentence so needed it for the emphasis).
What did I learn from that experience? That I had a very independent nature. Actually that wasn't news to me, I've always had that particular characteristic but I discovered that I was also fairly fearless about the idea of traveling alone. I walked around Kowloon that day smiling, stopping, eating, strolling, wandering, and generally having a great time without any sense of concern. Initially I did feel a bit self conscious without someone to talk to. I even felt a brief pang of loserishness that while everyone else around me were with someone or another, I was solo. But those feelings/thoughts dissipated within a few minutes as I lost myself in the hustle and bustle of the crowd. At the end, as I tiredly but happily made my way back I order to meet F, I realized I wanted to try this whole independent, be my own boss thing again.
Unfortunately, or maybe even fortunately, I haven't had that op again. Since then P and I have always gone on vacations together and I've never had the need to travel great distances for any length of time by my lonesome. That was until now.
P had always planned to come with me to F's wedding. He was excited also to be going to a state neither of us had been to but alas a few weeks ago, after having joined a new job he said to me that he wasn't sure how he would take the time off. I told him that he shouldn't jeopardize his new position and that I didn't want him to worry. The best he could do was try. As usual P tried his best, even thinking that things would work out as we booked our tickets, hotel, rental car. As far as we were concerned we were Seattle bound together. But as weeks went by, things looked bleak and he started to ponder the real possibility that either I would have to go ahead alone and he would join me later as well as come back early while I stayed on, or he wouldn't be able to make it at all. I was so confused by the situation that I didn't even RSVP to the invite. Thank goodness that the groom is one of my besties and it took but a call and a word of reassurance from him to put my worries about that to rest.
End product, this morning as I boarded the airplane, P drove off to go home to catch a couple hours of sleep before heading to work. I admit that I already miss him. He may have driven me to madness last evening double, triple and quadruple checking on me and my possessions as well as looking totally anxious about me traveling alone butthead fact is that I do miss him already. I would never ever deny that it is lovely to always be assured of a travel companion, especially one like P who is so organized yet so much fun.
But folks, let me be honest. I am excited to my core. Yes. There I said it. I'm simply jazzed that I, after spending my whole existence with someone or another attached to me by the hip, to be venturing out on my own, even if it is for 7 days. Selfish or not I will be the captain of my own life for a few moments.
You may be thinking, but Bina you're going to a friends wedding, you're technically not alone. Sure, I am going to a wedding. From Saturday night to Sunday (the day of the wedding) I'll be immersed in the wedding celebrations but pre and post this I am all alone. There was another couple who I know well that had to cancel the trip due to difficulty in finding a babysitter. Even if I hung out with them, it would still not be as much time as I will be solitary.
My mom was cute about it. I don't think she realized that I was really so very on my own. When I was at the terminal, before boarding, she was on the phone with me asking who would pick me up from the airport. I had to bite back a smile and gently inform her that no one was. She seemed a bit confused and stunned by this but I assured her that I had a rental waiting for me. She seemed appeased but still grumbled about no one being there to greet me. Heh, I so love my mommy
So yea, we're about 2 hours from landing in Long Beach, CA for a two hour wait before heading onto Seattle. By the time I post this I'll be waiting patiently for the last leg of the journey to begin. Right now I'm writing all this on my handheld, impressive right? As soon as I can grab some wifi this will be up. Of course you'll know I have been successful since you're able to read this...sigh nvm.
I think I'll take a nap. More to come Lovies.
Ciao for now.
This is a pic from the airplane just before they commanded us to shut down. I think these are the Angeles Mountains but heck I've been known to be wrong. *shrugs*
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