Because the debate wasn’t enough,
I stayed up till 5am watching the pundits and “experts” expound and dissect the
hell out of the 90 minutes till I finally decided, or rather my body demanded
it was time to sleep otherwise it would stage a mutiny of sorts. Alas even though I listened to it
immediately, I believe it still wanted to exact revenge as my eyes popped open
at the repulsive hour of 7am. 7 am. SEVEN AM!!!!!
In case you’re not good at math that’s pretty much 2 hours of sleep. And trust me, I am not, and I repeat not, a
morning person.
Many of you who know me may be
thinking, “okay so what’s the big deal, you’re an insomniac anyhow” but even we
insomniacs make up the sleep somewhere, like while driving, under the desk at
work or even behind a potted plant…but I assure you we definitely need some
significant amount of it, not necessarily 8 hours (because that’s just insane)
but more than 2 is all I’m saying.
Truthfully though, and knowing my body, I never ever make up sleep. As in if I get two hours, that’s all I’m
gonna get and will have to suffer through the rest of the blasted day exhausted
out of my mind, closely resembling a zombie.
This has sadly become my normal.
This morning I lay in bed praying
I would doze back to sleep but the grey cells were firing at all cylinders as I
pulled myself out to get on with the rest of the day. I don’t want to or need to bore anyone with
the mindlessly boring crap that I did but at one point I stretched out onto the
sofa to read some information sent to me by a friend and apparently I feel
asleep.
Remember how I mentioned I don’t
nap? Well, I really don’t. And if you hear that I’ve napped know that I’ve
managed to hit a wall of exhaustion pretty hard and my body gave me the mental middle
finger and decided to shut the hell down.
This was precisely what happened today.
15 minutes later I woke up with a
jerk, my heart beating out of control, body shaking, and the overwhelming urge
to puke. And this, my friends, is
precisely why I loathe napping. I have
never, ever, EVER felt rested after resting.
It sucks big ol’ hairy….um…yea this is a pretty PG blog so I won’t
finish that thought. You know what I
mean though. This is also the reason my
mom and I would get into epic showdowns when I was a child as she insisted I
take an afternoon nap (probably because she needed ‘me’ time and I was a
lunatic kid who followed her around like a shadow and ask her such questions as
“why is the sky blue?” and “why can’t I color my hair pink?”). Now that I think of it, I was a really
annoying child. Thank God I’ve shed
that, eh? Shut up.
Anyhoooo…the reason for my
resistance was, and I know this now although not then, that my mind rarely
rested. But my mother wasn’t having any
of my demands to make brownies or going to the mall and would command me into
bed and force my eyes closed (she would gently put her fingers over my eyes in
desperation at times). My eyelids would
eventually start to hurt not from her fingers but from keeping them closed on my
own because I would start to feel bad that she even needed to force my eyes
shut. And yea, every once in a while I
would fall asleep only to wake up with a start and all those horrible feelings
I described above zinging through me. This
is the sole reason I hate napping and now at the age of 43, nothing has
changed. I like to fantasize about it
though.
Knowing that my stupid body has
never been down with the whole napping concept, I decided today to shake the
lethargy and leave the house to run errands after quickly sending off a few
emails and checking job boards. Best to
be as far away from the bed or sofa as possible in sheer fear.
If you bothered to read yesterday’s
blog, you will recall that I spoke about how cool the weather had turned but
also mentioned that Mother Nature had been terribly fickle as well of late. Well, today she decided to turn up the dial. As soon as I stepped foot outdoors I knew
once again that MN (That’s short for Mother Nature because we’re pretty close and
I can be all casual when referring to her) had betrayed me. Did anyone notice how unseasonably warm it
was? Off came the scarf and sweater in
an instant as I sat in the leather interior of my sweltering car jacking up the
AC. I would love, love, LOVE it if for
once the weather would reflect the actual month it was. Thanks, Global Warming. Oh wait, that’s right, there’s no such thing
as Global Warming [insert major eye roll here].
At Trader Joe’s (for those who
have no clue as to what this is, it’s basically a fancy grocery store where you
can’t get generic toothpaste but has the most kickass frozen meals and a
plethora of chocolaty treats not to be found anywhere else), I was thrilled to
find a spot under the one tree in the blasted parking lot. Industrialization really does suck, doesn’t
it? I headed into the store and as I
weaved down the side walk a gentleman in front of me craned his neck in the
most exaggerated way to gaze at a woman who was at that point striding past
me. I figured she must be beautiful or
something like that and decided to peak.
He hadn’t looked at her because of her looks but rather because…wait for
it………….she was wearing a Kevlar vest, above her clothes, and muttering rather
loudly to herself. She was not sporting
a uniform either. Um…
*Pause…crickets…scratch head…shrug
shoulders*
This was basically my reaction.
Amazing the ridiculous shit you
get used to seeing when you live in a pretty overpopulated area. Nothing
seems to faze me anymore. Not even
Kevlar worn over the clothes. I wondered
though why she felt as if she had to and then realized I was, yet again,
overthinking stuff and needed teriyaki chicken instead. That’s what I did.
Now, I’ve written entries before
about my obsession with Panera’s cinnamon crunch bagels. I would post the original blogs for reference
but I kinda don’t want to scroll through to locate them so either you can do
the honors or just take me at my word.
But I’ve put this (the famous bagel obsession) on the backburner for
many months now. It doesn’t help with
the waistline in the least and I got pretty sick of it after having at least 3
in the span of 3 weeks (which is a lot for me).
But then…
Alright, I’m either really easily
influenced or my mind is weak. Now that
I think of it, the two probably is linked.
This is a sad realization for me, I have to admit because I’ve always
thought I’m pretty safe from too much external influences. Oh how wrong I was today because earlier as I
sat on the sofa scrolling through Facebook, I had stumbled upon a video of a
bunch of people being asked how they liked their bagels. It was an advertisement for cream cheese
hence they were expounding upon how much cream cheese to bagel ratio these consumers
preferred then had the audacity to actually have them show the audience what they liked and then...consumed it...slowly, happily, blissfully...oh god... I was riveted, my mind
screeching to a stop and my mouth flooding with saliva.
I really should find the
marketing genius who created that video and smack him upside the head and then
tell his boss to give him a raise because oh wow was I Jonesing for a bagel and
schmear (I don’t think I spelled that correctly but then again why should I
start now, right?), right then.
Subliminal foodie messages works
on me like a charm, apparently. This is something I know but love to deny.
Anyhow today was also Tuesday
which meant music classes and the realization that I was yet again woefully
unprepared and that I needed to practice…a lot more…like a lot, lot more, as in
I should be busting out the harmonium on a daily basis and going at it for 4
hours at a time kinda practice more instead of the zero practice I actually do. Thank my lucky stars that I have musical
genes within me otherwise I’d be screwed.
I’m still astounded that my wonderful father, ustad, music teacher doesn’t
throw his hands up in frustration and simply fire me as his student. I wouldn’t even be mad at him.
Now it’s nearly 3 am. Yea, still working on 2 hours and 15 minutes of sleep. I'm surprisingly awake...darn it but on the bright side I’m finishing up this blog. You know what, it’s not all
that exciting, sorta boring, just a silly entry of my silly life in this silly
platform. And yet, I’m smiling because
my fingers are flying across the keyboard, something that hasn’t happened in so
long and you know what else? It really,
really feels good. Even if there
isn’t much substance to this blog, it doesn’t alarm me. It’s a simple testament to the fact that a
few blocks have been removed mentally from my cranium.
I have some weighty topics in mind
that I may end up posting soon. Let’s
see what tomorrow brings other than coloring out the white in my hair and
eyeing my treadmill as the enemy.
Till we meet again…
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